At the ages they are, 10 and 6, our kids don't get much homework. All they have to do is read every evening, and we have to mark in their reading record that this goliath task has been completed. If they read five times in a week, they are awarded the much lauded title of 5 star reader. This is very prestigious as it usually comes with a sticker and is a source of pride amongst their peers. Given the high status that comes with this title, you'd have thought it would be easy to get them to read, but no, it's actually as easy as convincing a Hyena to take up a vegetarian lifestyle.

Ah, dogs. The loyal, fluffy companions who never fail to bring joy into our lives. But there’s one thing that makes these otherwise well-behaved creatures go absolutely... nuts.... Yes, we’re talking about the age-old rivalry between dogs and squirrels. It’s a match made in some kind of wild, furry heaven. But is it true love? Or is it just pure, unadulterated chaos?

Damn it, we’re out of bread. A cursory sweep of the fridge confirms my suspicions... the fridge has been cleared out by a swarm of locusts the size and shape of two small humans. There’s no way around it, I’m going to have to pop to the shops...