At the ages they are, 10 and 6, our kids don't get much homework. All they have to do is read every evening, and we have to mark in their reading record that this goliath task has been completed. If they read five times in a week, they are awarded the much lauded title of 5 star reader. This is very prestigious as it usually comes with a sticker and is a source of pride amongst their peers. Given the high status that comes with this title, you'd have thought it would be easy to get them to read, but no, it's actually as easy as convincing a Hyena to take up a vegetarian lifestyle.
After school, our kids have very strong opinions on anything that isn't based around television, tablets, or constant cartwheels. You tell the older child to grab his book and he immediately responds with: "Do I have to? I read yesterday". We have the same conversation every day. We explain the concept of homework and the fact it has to be done every day. We have had this conversation at least 400 times now, and the concept is still as surprising to him as the very first time. With a gargantuan grunt of effort, he heaves his carcass off the sofa, digs through the mountains of crap in his school bag, and pulls out a dog-eared and battered representation of his reading record. After a cursory flick through, he is shocked and dismayed that by Tuesday, he's not yet a 5 star reader.
He mumbles and stumbles through the pages, paying no heed to punctuation, stopping every third word to stroke the dog or count how many pages he has left in the book. He's a good reader, but keeping him on task is difficult, and it sounds like he's reading a list rather than a story. We go back over sentences, explaining the punctuation, and his glazed expression says better than words can, that this useful information isn't important enough to retain.
A few painful pages later, we throw in the towel. He's one step closer to the all important sticker and he throws his book back in his bag, secure in the knowledge of a job well done.
It's time for the youngest child. Even though she has just sat there and watched her brother read, it's a source of constant surprise that it's her turn next. She emits a noise that's eerily reminiscent of a goat landing on an electric fence, cartwheels over to the dog bed and curls up into a ball. In her mind, she's now invisible and therefore, off the hook. Nothing works. Bribery, cajoling, threats, and cold hard logic have no effect. It is only when she is ready that she ceases to be invisible, stomps off to get her book, and sits down to read. Here's the thing through, she's actually a phenomenally good reader. So much so, that the books for her age group bore her. To make things more interesting, she reads in a variety of voices, cadences and intonations. Sometimes she even sings the book for us. After what seems like a decade has passed, she stops her musical rendition of her book and we agree to stop. Another battle has been won.
Getting our kids to read is a frustrating, confusing and very often hilarious experience, with all the highs and lows of a Shakespearean play but with plenty of tea, coffee, snacks, or something stronger, we get through it!
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